Just be friends

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old female who has a crush on a guy who is 18.

I love him dearly, but the problem is that my friends say he is just a player. He is very handsome, intelligent and very considerate. He is Christian-minded and very dedicated. He always discusses the Lord with me. I always see him with a lot of girls holding hands. Whenever I ask him about it, he says that is how he treats all girls and they are in no way intimate.

That special one

He says he doesn't want to settle down with just one girl because it will affect him when it comes to choosing that special one to walk down the aisle. He said he is young. Therefore, it all boils down to one thing. Should I listen to my friends or just be a close friend until he says I am not the one?

L.E.,

Hanover

Dear L.E.,

This guy has been upfront with you. What he is trying to tell you is that he has many girlfriends but they are social friends and he is not ready to have an intimate girlfriend.

He may be dating a number of girls, and frankly there is nothing wrong with that. It is wise for young men and young women to date and to get to know each other before they choose their life partners.

Unfortunately, some people believe that if a man dates a few girls, he is flirting. That is not necessarily true. I believe that we would have less divorce if couples would get to know each other before getting married.

You are three years older than this man, so you are anxious to 'grab him' and call him your man. You ought to accept his friendship and stop harassing him. He may or may not carry the relationship with you further.

Pastor.