Who's the daddy?

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I don't know if you can help me. When I was 13 years old a man came to me and said that he is my father. I replied, "You are not my father." He said, "Yes, I am your father." I repeated, "You are not my father."

I walked away. He called me by my name. I turned back and went to him. He told me to look at his eyes and to look at my eyes and from the moment he said that something flashed in my mind and made me believe that he was speaking the truth.

When I was a child I used to love this man so much, but I never knew that he was my father. His eyes are very bright. And when I went on the road as a child people used to ask me how my eyes are so bright. People still ask me that question. I am 21 years old. Sometimes it worries me so much to know that the man I thought is my father is also a cousin of this man who told me he is my father.

The man my mother told me is my father has four children with my mother and I love him very much. Sometimes we play together. He cannot read but whenever he has time he tells us a lot of stories. My mother did something wrong and I told her what another man had told me. She asked me what was his name and I told her.

I went to visit the man I believed all along is my father and I saw the other man there. He told me that my mother asked him about what he had told me. He told me that I should not tell my mother what we discussed. He does not want the man that I believe all these years to be my father to know what he told me. Please tell me what to do.

C.T., Clarendon

Dear C.T.,

If you are not satisfied with what your mother told you and you want to be sure, you may ask the man to agree to do a DNA test. That would settle the matter for the both of you. On the other hand, you can forget it and accept what your mother says. As I see it, even if the man you consider all these years to be your biological father, is really not, he is the only man who has played the role of a father in your life and he should be accepted as such. He should never be made to feel that he is anything less. Honour him and respect him.

Pastor