Can't get him out of my head

Dear Pastor,

I am a lonely 29-year-old woman living in New York. I have been in love with one man all my life. He is a wonderful person, but only if he knew how I feel. We were once in a relationship and there was lots of misunderstanding and we broke up.

Ever since this man just cannot come out of my head. I am not obsessed over him, but it is like nature brings us back together all the time. I can feel his distress when he is in trouble. I can love no other man but him. When guys do come to me I compare them to him. I really think this man is my soul mate and we are meant to be. He calls me 'my girl'.

Please advise me on what to do.

C.H.,

Bronx, New York

Dear C.H.,

You claim not to be obsessed with this man, but I do not believe you. You are moping over this man. The relationship that you had together did not last, but you have had fond memories of him. And you wish that both of you would get back together permanently. He ignores you.

Give up

Evidently, he does not love you as much as you love him. Therefore, you should learn to give him up. No man is perfect and it is unwise to compare other men with your former lover. How could your former lover be such a wonderful fellow and he didn't stay with you? Could it mean then that you caused the breaking up? What do you mean by "there was lots of misunderstanding?"

What I am trying to say is that everybody has his or her personality and temperament, so I repeat, it is unwise to compare another man who may come your way with your former boyfriend. You cannot be sure if you and this man 'are meant to be'. So do not talk that nonsense.

Pastor.