17 and pregnant - again

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I need your advice. I am not attending school because I have no one to help me. Last year June I had a baby. I was talking to a guy and now I am four months pregnant for him, but it looks like he doesn't want to give me any money and I haven't been to the doctor as yet. Every time I ask him for money he doesn't have any and I have to wait. But what I have in mind is that I am wondering if it is wrong to have an abortion.

I have a boyfriend. He is my only help and I am afraid to let him know I am pregnant. I don't really want to do an abortion, but this guy leaves me no choice. So I want to know if it is the right thing.

He doesn't give me any money, only $100 sometimes. I told him I am going to report him because he told me he used a condom.

When I found out that I was pregnant I went back to him and asked him if he didn't use a condom. Do you know what he said? He said, "The way it did nice he does not know if him did come or not." I was so upset. I feel to let the police lock him up. He knows my boyfriend.

Please give me your advice.

A., Kingston

Dear A.,

I feel very sorry for you. Your letter saddens me. You are a young mother at 17 and pregnant again. What is going to happen to you? And the guy who got you pregnant is taking this thing as a big joke. To fuss with you does not make sense. What you need now is help.

I can't encourage you to have an abortion. The guy did not rape you. He might have fooled you, but he didn't rape you.

You are going to have to learn that if you are determined to have sex, you will have to learn to protect yourself. Not all men are trustworthy. Some don't care. So, to you and all girls who insist that they must have sex, you should purchase your own female condoms.

Oh, yes I know that some people are going to say that I am giving licence for young people to have sex. I am not. As a matter of fact, if anybody is willing to write me and curse me as some of you Christians have a habit of doing, feel free. Your cursing won't change me. I am a black man and it won't make me white. It is not only pregnancy a girl has to worry about, it is venereal diseases including HIV/AIDS.

I hope your relatives would help you prepare for this baby. If after you have given birth and this guy refuses to accept paternity, you may considering giving up the child for adoption. I hope your boyfriend won't abandon you, but if he does, please understand that it is because he cannot deal with the thought that you went to bed with another man.

Pastor